Monday, December 28, 2009

You Gotta...

Just a few days to go. This is getting intense!

With the high number of zany and creative people I come in contact with every day, including friends, family, and colleagues, this whole torch carrying event has made for quite the comedic banter. Whether it’s been the chuckling of the thought of me running through snow in January in Wawa, or the wise crack remarks about my training to run 300m, or the fact that countless people have asked me if I was really running with the torch from Sudbury to Wawa, and I haven’t corrected a single one of them – the conversations have been fun to say the least.
They’ve also resulted in quite the list of “You gottas” as I’ve began to refer to them. As in, “You gotta run full out!” or “You gotta do the moonwalk” or “You know what you gotta do? You gotta pretend to trip and fall flat on your face! That’ll get you on the news!”. So it got me thinking. And it got me asking. What would be the best or funniest way to get national media coverage of my quick run with the torch? Keep in mind that I do not plan to use any of the ideas given to me, and take the honour quite seriously. But since serious conversations are no fun, I figured I’d put it out there. So I did. And here’s what some of you suggested (PG rated version. R rated version had many variations of #6.) :

10. Get someone to pump out the theme to Chariots of Fire, and slow-mo the entire run.

9. Stop and stretch halfway with over-exaggerated lunges and toe-touches. Throw in a few groin stretches.

8. Blue Angel. ‘Nuff Said.

7. Find a downhill slope and krazy-karpet down it with the torch to the next guy. Only in Canada.

6. Dry-hump the giant Goose’s leg, flame in hand.

5. High-step the last 20 yards. Finish off with Deion Sanders Primetime TD dance.

4. Light a giant BC bud joint with the Torch at the end of the run to make it truly Canadian.

3. Have friends and family line the side of my 300m run with cups of Gatorade and water and wet sponges in hand for me to grab and dump over my head as I pass by.

2. Learn the art of fire breathing. Extinguish flame in mouth and breathe it onto next person’s torch.

1. Pre-arrange a line of gasoline to a terrorist escape airplane, fight off terrorists mid-run, barely crawl to the finish of my leg of the run, fall on the ground, light the gasoline stream with the Olympic Torch to blow up the plane into smithereens saying “Yippee kay yay motherf#cker”.

1 comment:

  1. if you can somehow manage to do all of the above, i'm sure you'll get on the news.

    well sudbury news at least..

    I'm gonna try and watch the live stream, hopefully they have internet access on the plane!

    love ya buddy